Procrastination… or fear? Maybe just cheesecake.

I’m a horrible procrastinator. But as I move forward and examine my life, I wonder: is my procrastination rooted in fear? If it is, fear of what? Is it failure? Change? I can’t possibly be the only person in this universe that hasn’t dragged their feet out of fear of the outcome. Then again, thinking about that doesn’t make me feel any better. And it doesn’t make me move any faster. So as I rearrange my kitchen and stare disdainfully at the state of the walls (that I still haven’t painted the color I want), I continue to ask myself: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU AFRAID OF??

My mind’s been going in a thousand different directions lately – the price one pays for having more than one dream or, as I like to put it, a package full of them. Time management has become a skill that I’ve been forced to learn – something else I’m pretty bad at, but no matter – so that I can make the most of my day. I still don’t know how I do it, but I manage to get a little done at a time. And with every day that passes, my plans mold and shape into something different. It can be frustrating but, when all is said and done, I hope that things make sense…at least to me.

Now that all of that is out of the way, I turn my attention to my recent obsession: Christmas. I love decorating for Christmas, I love that the holiday implies family, love, and of course… BAKING! Cookies, tarts, pies, and anything else that I can top with either royal icing or a candy cane; Christmas is not just a time for giving, but a time to roll your eyes back in satisfaction and whisper ‘Yum!’

So far, my Christmas Cheesecake has been my favorite. It’s creamy, fresh-tasting, and always incites a Golden Girl moment or two around my kitchen table. While I won’t give away the deepest of details (smile), it very basically is a cool, creamy cheesecake with a hint of peppermint extract in the batter! I pour that on top of a nice, rustic vanilla wafer crust and bake it ever so gently in my trusty oven; after it’s cooled I give the top a shell border made of whipped cream and a handful of crushed candy canes.

It’s pretty magical, and a favorite among my friends/clients! Here’s another suggestion: if you do end up making this wonderful confection on your own, pick up a few candy cane sugar pop-ons and place them on top for a little extra flair. You can find them easily at places like nycake.com (An NYC cake lady’s toy store) or cakedeco.com (the wondrous site of Pfeil & Holing, my savior when it comes to cupcake decorations!). Hope you like the photos; maybe all the pepperminty goodness will leave you screaming “WHEN I BITE INTO A SNACK GIRLZ PEPPERMINT CHEESECAKE…” ;)

Have fun with your Christmas Cooking Adventures - I'd love to see any of your pictures and even hear your horror stories..ok, actually I'd really really love to hear the horror stories: I may be inclined to share some of my own! (smile again)


Keep Snackin’,
Sami

"Shame on Me!" and other musings

I'm such a horrible blogger. I was horrible at keeping a journal when I was a kid, so
I don't know why I thought this would be any different. Someone once told me, 'Don't blog because you have to, blog because you've got something to say.' - well, it certainly is safe for you to assume that I haven't had much to say! I've been meddling with recipes, working, schooling, and planning. And here I am. Closer to opening? A bit.

Lack of money has kept me from opening. I work out of my kitchen at home (I know, I know...bad girl), and I've been making cakes for friends at no profit. I just want to stay in love with baking while I search for funding. It's pretty discouraging, having to write plans and proposals over and over again to suit the program for which you're applying. And being lazy like me makes it a challenge, to say the least. But, a change in direction has made life easier for me. And now, I need less to get started. The goal seems closer, and feels more real. I'm terrified of change, but let's f**king do it!

It's been a year and a half since I started working in this industry. I've surrounded myself with people and situations that would prep me for the world I want to start a business in. I feel a little more prepared, a little more numb, a little more ready. I want to be able to do things my way. I'm obsessed, and it's almost funny how neurotic I've become. My only option now is to operate my own establishment. It really has to happen. Failure isn't an option. Oh, it's likely - but I've got to try.

A change in direction was what I needed. I figured out that I needed to simplify, to start somewhere. After that? Money. It's hard to come by. I know of no mysterious benefactors, and I have no rich friends (smile). But I'll make it happen. And since I've blogged it, that means I can't turn back (smile again).

So, onward to my destination: my package of dreams wrapped in a bow...quickly please!

Keep Snackin',
Sami